How to Eliminate Those Irritating Negative Thoughts.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the inspirational best-seller-of-all-time, The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale. It was first published in 1953.
Besides the colossal success of Peale’s book, successful Happiness Courses are being taught at Harvard, Yale and other institutions. There have been many other books written about happiness, even Happiness songs. And achieving happiness has been the subject of many movies.
So why aren’t more Americans getting any happier? Only one in three Americans say they’re very happy, according to a recent Harris Poll.
I think this is why. I contend that our thoughts determine our feelings, and most of those thoughts are fearful, worrisome, or they’re scary.
Hardly conducive to a sunny disposition.
These negative feelings play havoc with our ability to see options. They impede feeling happy. They cloud our mind so we don’t perform in the most focused way.
The thoughts seem to come out of nowhere. They can come from an incident in the past. Sometimes they come after we begin something new, doubting our capabilities of succeeding. Or we may have a habitual thought come up repeatedly in the present.
All the feelings born of negative thoughts, if not questioned, become buried again until something else triggers them. Questioning the thought is the first step in preventing unwanted thoughts to crop up.
All the suffering that goes on inside our minds is not reality, says Byron Katie. It’s just a story we torture ourselves with.
To question a thought, you can use Byron Katie’s technique. Ask yourself;
Is it true?
If it still seems likely, ask yourself, “Can you absolutely know it’s true?”
How do I react — what happens — when I believe that thought?
Who would I be without the thought?
There’s a lot more you can learn about the questioning. Check out her website for more information: http://thework.com/en
The common denominator of most thoughts that pop up is that they’re negative thoughts.
When we don’t question whether the thought is true, we may end up anxious, overwhelmed with doubt and uncertainty. We feel stressed.
Sometimes we feel like a victim, unable to see any other option but live with what we wish wasn’t happening.
Our thoughts and feelings have a huge impact on our body. This is because of the mind-body connection. Most of the time we act because of habit, without thinking, and let our negative emotions rule us. This can cause distress.
It’s hard to remain happy when we’re not feeling the higher vibrations of love, joy, and gratitude, and hope.
The way to remain happy is by developing the skill of having these positive emotions most of the time. Positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind. Thinking about remaining positive each time you feel negative emotions like sadness, fear, doubt, and guilt helps build new skills and resources that provide value in many areas of your life.
How can we build positive thinking in our lives?
In my last post, I described how to get over negative feelings. Anything that sparks feelings of joy, contentment and love will work. Taking a walk, calling someone I love or cooking a favorite food to eat do the trick for me.
There are the three ways James Clear at JamesClear.com has found to increase positive thinking:
- Meditation — Recent research by Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, revealed that people who meditate daily display more positive emotions than those who do not. Some positive aspects I have experienced are stronger self-confidence, reduced stress, tension, and states of deep relaxation. I have a general feeling of wellbeing. It has lowered my blood pressure readings, and I’m able to concentrate and focus better than before.
I know some of you may be thinking, “No, not meditation again.” I used to feel that way. But with all wonderful new ways to meditate now, and with a little research, I’m confident you’ll find one that works for you.
2. Writing — James Clear, in his blog, The Science of Positive Thinking: How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work, tells about a study, published in the Journal of Research in Personality that the students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center, and experienced fewer illnesses than the group who wrote about a control topic.
I’ve been writing in a journal for eight years and writing posts on my blog for three years. I loved my journal from the start because writing my thoughts helped me discover ways to solve problems. The more positive outcomes I experienced, the more I became addicted to feeling positive. I began to look forward to another positive experience to write about
Another way to feel more positive is to use your journal every day to write what you’re grateful for. Gratitude provides a cumulative effect of positivity.
3. Play is another way to feel positive. Schedule time each day to do something that makes you feel happy. You might hike up a mountain or pursue some adventure. Maybe it’s spending time with a certain person or finding a hobby you love.
“When we are ready to make positive changes in our lives, we attract whatever we need to help us.” Louise Hay
Facing a new challenge can feel daunting at first but if you persevere, you’ll find it easier. Each time a new experience affirms you’ve progressed, trust me, you will be happier.